We Jews seem to do things
backwards! We read and write the Hebrew language right to left instead of left
to right. We open a book from the back
cover. We remember the day of a person’s death not the day of a person’s birth.
A few years ago I spoke about why our High Holidays seem to be backwards. First
we celebrate New Year’s Day, and only after, we observe the Day of Atonement. I
argued that, on the face of it, it makes more sense to atone for our sins
first, and then celebrate the New Year, when we have been cleansed of our sins.
But that seems backwards, too. Tonight,
I want to examine another ritual that seems backwards.
This ritual is described in the
Torah. It is the ritual of the very first Passover. As you know, while we are
still slaves in Egypt, G-d commands us to have a Passover Seder. On the evening
of the day we are to leave Egypt, G-d commands the Jewish people to gather with
their families, in their homes for a Passover feast. We are to eat of the
Passover sacrifice, and we are to eat Matzah and Maror.
What is backwards about that, you
may ask. But if we think about it, doesn’t it make more sense for us to have
the Passover feast AFTER we have been liberated from Egypt? Should not freedom
and independence come first, THEN the celebration? Take the American example.
On July 2, 1776, Congress formally adopted the Declaration of Independence. The
Philadelphia Evening Post published the full text of the Declaration of
Independence four days later. It wasn’t until July 4, 1777, a full year later,
that Congress declared a formal celebration by the adjourning and celebrating
with bonfires, bells, and fireworks. This is the principal – act first,
celebrate later!
That is why it appears that we got
the celebration of the first Passover backwards. The Exodus from Egypt had not
yet happened, yet the Jewish people have been commanded to sit down to a family
meal to commemorate their upcoming freedom from bondage. Think of all the other
things they could have been doing! For one, they could have been home packing
in preparation for the journey they would soon undertake. They could have been
gathering in their communal halls planning the logistics needed to move
hundreds of thousands of newly freed people out of Egypt. They could have been
putting the final touches on their own Declaration of Independence. Instead,
they are home cooking! They are deciding what kind of barbecue sauce they will
use for the roasted lamb. They are chopping herring and making matzah ball
soup. They are going house to house, making sure that everyone in the
neighborhood has a seat at a Seder somewhere, since nobody can be left out.
Why hold a family dinner before the
Exodus? One reason is that we learn
about the importance of the family unit in Jewish life. The central task of
passing on the Jewish faith from one
generation to to the next generation lies upon the family. We all know that Religious
school can help, as can Jewish summer camp, as can participation in Jewish
Youth groups, as can trips to Israel. All of these build Jewish identity, give
us a sense of solidarity with and a love for the Jewish people. But the family is the cornerstone upon which
all else rests. And when does the family convene most regularly? It is at the
dinner table, around meals. Eating
meals together is of such monumental importance in Jewish family life that the
Talmud states that now that the Temple has been destroyed and we can no longer
offer sacrifices for atonement, it is the family dinner table that atones for
our sins!
Unfortunately, these days, I hear
from far too many people that families are too busy to eat together, even for a
weekly Shabbat meal. Rabbi Moses Birnbaum tells the story of Rabbi Abraham
Besdin, of Brooklyn. A couple approached Rabbi Besdin with marital problems.
After meeting with them, he suggested that they commit themselves to having
Shabbat dinner together every Friday night. While they were at odds with each
other they were of one mind regarding the rabbi's suggestion. How dare he foist
his religious fanaticism upon them? They came for marital counseling, after
all!
Some years later Rabbi Besdin was at a
simkhah. A man approached him and reintroduced himself as the husband who had
angrily rejected Rabbi Besdin's advice about Shabbat dinner. The man began to
apologize. "You see, rabbi, my wife and I went to a therapist after
talking with you. We spent many years and a lot of money. In our last session
he finally gave us some expert counsel: 'Why don't you reserve at least one
night a week for a romantic meal together by candlelight with a bottle of
wine?' We should have listened to you at the outset"
Now we understand that the Torah
did not have it backward at all. One might now ask, “What better thing
did the Jewish people have to do than sit down with their families for a meal
the night before the Exodus from Egypt?” Everything else could wait. That is a
message for us as well. Everything else can wait. Make dinner time, especially
Shabbat dinner time, a priority for your family. If the Jewish people, anxious
to leave the land of their bondage, and with so much else to do, could find
time to do this, so could we!
Shabbat Shalom and Chag Sameach
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