Creating Memories at the Seder Passover 5783

What is the main point of having a Seder? Tonight, I want to challenge the idea that the seder held primarily so that we can remember the Exodus from Egypt. Despite the fact that our Haggadah says that we are obligated to tell about the Exodus from Egypt, and that “the more one tells the story of the Exodus from Egypt the more one is to be praised” I’m not so sure that the main purpose of having a seder is to tell the story and remember our liberation.

First, we never actually tell the story of the Exodus from Egypt in our Haggadah. There is no mention of the main protagonist of the Exodus story, Moses, in all of the Haggadah. How can one tell the story of the Exodus from Egypt while leaving out the central character of that very story! Chronologically, we read tell the story of our oppression, how we were slaves in Egypt, how God sent plagues against the Egyptians and so forth, but we never read about the Jewish people leaving Egypt! We never read about them crossing the Red Sea. We are told that God brought us out of Egypt, but we never read about the drama associated with it. True, the Exodus from Egypt is referred to, but it is not actually told.

Second, why do we need a Seder to remind us of the Exodus from Egypt? Every morning, and every evening, we are reminded of the Exodus from Egypt in our prayers. Every Friday night when we recite kiddush we say that the Shabbat is “Zecher litsiat mitsrayim”, it is a remembrance of the Exodus from Egypt. In fact, remembering the Exodus from Egypt is an obligation that is met through the daily ritual of prayer, specifically in the mention of the Exodus from Egypt in the third paragraph of the Shema that we recite daily, morning and evening.

Rather than remembering the Exodus from Egypt, I think the main purpose of the Seder is to teach our children to remember that they are Jewish. The Seder is a vehicle toward creating and implanting indelible Jewish memories into the minds of our children. The Seder is all about connecting children to their parents and grandparents and from there to an awareness that our lineage stretches all the way back to Abraham and Sarah.

What our children do with those memories, no parent can control. Whether those memories determine how adult children live their lives is beyond the reach of parents. Our children need to live their own lives. Whether, and how, their lives unfold Jewishly we cannot determine. Yet, if we do our job properly, our children will need to struggle with their Jewish identity as adults even as they may submerge it. Here is a remarkable story that illustrates just how that played out in one man’s life:

A Black African woman and a White European rabbi stand before the grave of Walter Galler, born in London in 1885. The grave is in a Christian cemetery in Namibia, Africa. The African woman is his widow. “He would be so happy to know that a rabbi was visiting his grave,” the woman said, tears in her eyes. The rabbi examines the tombstone. He notices some strange markings carved above the name. On closer examination, he sees that these are Hebrew letters, written upside down, and reading from left to right instead of right to left. He looks closer, and sees that the letters spell out the words, “Kasher le Pesach” – Kosher for Passover.

The woman explained that her husband had come from London many years ago. They married but he never said anything about his being Jewish. It was only on his deathbed that he told her that he was Jewish and that he wanted that acknowledged at his grave.

He took out a box of Matzah that he had kept for years but had never opened. It was the only Jewish item in his possession. He pointed to the Hebrew words on the box – Kasher for Pesakh – and said, “Please engrave this on my tombstone.” Those were his last words.

No matter how far this man travelled, physically and psychologically, he could not forget that he was Jewish. Memory is a huge thing. Here we have an entire holiday designed to instill Jewish memories. Memories that we will carry with us the rest of our lives. Through these memories can recall warm connections with parents, family and friends, no matter how far we have travelled from them; memories that can guide us, inspire us, and even haunt us. The memories that we take from our Seder can play a crucial role in shaping who we become and how we relate to the world.

Shabbat Shalom and Chag Sameach